I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Randomize
