She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
