addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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