there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
