Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize