K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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