so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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