I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
