If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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