So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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