he shaved USA in his pubs
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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