He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
