ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
