bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize