your room smells of hookers.
And success
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
