a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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