I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
