My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
