You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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