I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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