Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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