when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
