It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
