he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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