Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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