Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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