Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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