Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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