didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
