I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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