Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
