You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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