Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
