Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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