i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
