margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
