Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
