I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
