Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
