my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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