oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
