he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
