I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
