I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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