Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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