We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
