Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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