I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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