They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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