Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
