its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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