I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
