she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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