More tranny stories later!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
